Sometime ago I had a night of absolute physical brokenness. I had been suffering for a few days with a mild bowel obstruction, and was conservatively managing it at home. Well lets just say it resolved….

It resolved in spectacular style, the mounting pressure ‘snapped’ an internal adhesion creating an audible pop from deep within, my husband heard it in the next room over, and resulted in a mass exodus of the offending material. However this ‘pop’ was accompanied by enough pain that I promptly passed out, in a pool of my own relief……. tmi I know……. but where is God’s grace in my brokenness on that soiled floor.

Yes God, and God’s grace is in the people coming to my aid, in the humanity of helping one another. But God’s grace is so much more than that. It’s in the ability to accept that help with humility and grace, to treat those coming to my aid with respect and dignity, its in my own being. It’s in the comfort of knowing that he is with me and is suffering with me in that very moment. It’s in my security in the comfort that it is but a moment. It’s in my choice of attitude and my choice of perception. Yes I have moments of self pitying and at times I am definitely not gracious nor accepting of the offered help, just ask my husband (that man is a gift from God, an example of God’s grace given to me).

Gods grace allows me, and affords me the gift of not being consumed by these events, of not defining myself by my brokenness, of not in anyway being embarrassed or humiliated by it. Frustrated yes, scared yes, still physically broken/ill absolutely, but not devalued and never alone.

It’s in the ability to get up with the help that he has provided and continue on with life, to participate in work, to be a present parent, to be a contributing member of society. To live my life to the full, with what he has given me.

That is God’s grace in my brokenness on the floor.